Aimless
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Week 4 – Buprenorphine Taper – Day 1: Knife Edge
A day of darkness transformed into gratitude, as sharp thoughts were confronted, leading to reflection and creativity despite lingering fatigue.
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Some words from the night
A repetitive expression of the desire to distance oneself from various forms of travel and connection.
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The Fear of Today
The narrator reflects on returning powerful medication, experiencing fear of withdrawal but also a sense of resistance and control.
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A Ditty of Pity
A grey reflection in glass, a life remembered, youth questioned, sleep desired, and one quiet question remaining: what became of George?
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Buprenorphine Taper — Week 3
A week-long reflection on medication use and mood reveals the complexities and fluctuations of managing chronic pain and anxiety.
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Buprenorphine Taper — Week 2
It’s BitingMornings were hell. Screaming inside, crying, thinking: ‘Please go back to sleep…’ Yet every day I forced myself out of bed, took my meds, and kept going.
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How to Stop Taking Buprenorphine
I moved my buprenorphine to the car, creating distance from habit. Tapering is messy, deliberate, and intensely real.
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Exhausted
Archive piece: exhausted mind admitting hidden suicidal thoughts, fearing burdening loved ones, feeling unseen and unheard while hope quietly fades.
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Buprenorphine Reduction Week 1 Reduction
Have I done the right thing?Screaming anxiety, pain rising, depression crashing, meds mixed up, no control, just holding on as buprenorphine reduction begins tearing through everything
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Will Lamotrigine stop me killing myself or others?
A person reflects on the impact of lithium on kidney health while questioning the effectiveness of lamotrigine for bipolar disorder management.
Aimless
I’m from the UK — living with pain and mental illness, sharing my journals and fragments to show what it really looks like to keep going.