I am currently reducing my use of buprenorphine with the aim of removing it from my life completely. The medication was originally prescribed by my doctor, and the reduction is being carried out deliberately and with medical awareness.
A few weeks ago I was taking 1200 mcg per day. I reduced that to 800 mcg, and I am now working within a range of roughly 400–600 mcg depending on the day and how the taper progresses.
These numbers look small on paper. In reality they are not small at all. Buprenorphine is a powerful medication that binds tightly to opioid receptors and leaves the body slowly. Reducing it requires patience and discipline.
This morning I made a mistake.
According to my reduction plan I should have taken 200 mcg. Instead I took 400 mcg.
Part of the reason is practical. My new prescription for 200 mcg tablets has not yet arrived, so I have been splitting 400 mcg tablets in half to approximate the smaller dose. Anyone who has tried this knows it is far from exact. Tablets crumble, split unevenly, and what should be a precise dose becomes a rough estimate.
But there was another factor.
To reduce the temptation of knee-jerk dosing, I had deliberately moved the tablets out of the house and into my car. It was a conscious decision to create distance between myself and the medication
If I be wanted to take it, I would have to go outside and make a deliberate choice, rather than simply reaching for it.
That pause matters.
It breaks the automatic habit and replaces it with intention.
Today I still took too much. But tapering off buprenorphine is not a straight line, and no doctor expects perfection every day. Progress is measured across weeks and months, not by a single imperfect dose.
The direction is what matters.
1200 became 800.
800 is becoming 400–600.
Eventually it becomes zero.
This is not about pretending the process is easy. Anyone who has reduced a strong prescribed opioid will recognise the physical and mental resistance that comes with it.
But the goal is clear, the plan exists, and the work continues.
Today was imperfect.
Tomorrow the reduction continues
This isn’t about perfection or bravado.
It’s about doing the hard, quiet work every day — staring the habit in the eye, making deliberate choices, and keeping going.
