Journal
This is journal, journey is neither recovery or decline, but a real-time record of living through pain, medication, fatigue, and change.
Nothing is rewritten or softened.
Pain, sleep, mood, movement, and treatment are tracked honestly over time. Not for performance or narrative — simply to preserve patterns, evidence, and the reality of daily survival.
Entries can seem detached and that is the nature of the beast, you know when your arm is broken but not when your mind is!
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And then he made dogs
In a perfect world of harmony, dogs embody unconditional love and joy, enhancing life and reminding us of simplicity and presence.
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Living with Chronic Pain: A day in experience
A day living with chronic pain is chronicled, highlighting management strategies, emotional reflections, and the impact on daily life.
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Week 4 – Buprenorphine Taper – Day 1: Knife Edge
A day of darkness transformed into gratitude, as sharp thoughts were confronted, leading to reflection and creativity despite lingering fatigue.
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Some words from the night
A repetitive expression of the desire to distance oneself from various forms of travel and connection.
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The Fear of Today
The narrator reflects on returning powerful medication, experiencing fear of withdrawal but also a sense of resistance and control.
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A Ditty of Pity
A grey reflection in glass, a life remembered, youth questioned, sleep desired, and one quiet question remaining: what became of George?
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Buprenorphine Taper — Week 3
A week-long reflection on medication use and mood reveals the complexities and fluctuations of managing chronic pain and anxiety.
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Buprenorphine Taper — Week 2
It’s BitingMornings were hell. Screaming inside, crying, thinking: ‘Please go back to sleep…’ Yet every day I forced myself out of bed, took my meds, and kept going.
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How to Stop Taking Buprenorphine
I moved my buprenorphine to the car, creating distance from habit. Tapering is messy, deliberate, and intensely real.
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Exhausted
Archive piece: exhausted mind admitting hidden suicidal thoughts, fearing burdening loved ones, feeling unseen and unheard while hope quietly fades.
