Journal
This is journal, journey is neither recovery or decline, but a real-time record of living through pain, medication, fatigue, and change.
Nothing is rewritten or softened.
Pain, sleep, mood, movement, and treatment are tracked honestly over time. Not for performance or narrative — simply to preserve patterns, evidence, and the reality of daily survival.
Entries can seem detached and that is the nature of the beast, you know when your arm is broken but not when your mind is!
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Catheter – Day to Day Record (Around 1 Week In)
Adjusting to catheter life, disrupted sleep, exhaustion, and reduced capacity whilst trying to stay patient, practical, and emotionally steady day-to-day.
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Life masured in Millilitres
Everything is measured now: sleep, pain, urine, time, control. Life narrowed to tubes, drainage, exhaustion, and quiet adjustment.
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Fighting Fears with My Tears: The Night Everything Spilled Over
A rapid collapse into scans, catheterisation, exhaustion, fear, and uncertainty — while still trying to adapt, function, and endure daily life.
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Hello Catheterisation
Admitted with worsening leg numbness, urinary retention, eGFR 29, catheterisation, MRI investigation, and ongoing neurological and urological follow-up needs.
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Sleep Apnoea! The nurse called today
“Sleep apnoea leaves me exhausted, but after yesterday’s nurse call I’m persevering with the new CPAP mask and hopeful again.”
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You have won the national lottery
Seeking stability, recovery, and peace rather than luxury; building a calmer life while quietly helping others through honest shared experience.
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Astray
Depression, pain and exhaustion pulled me away from Aimless. I haven’t disappeared completely. I’ve simply been struggling to exist.
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Week 10 – Day 5
Crashing?Tears, pain, withdrawal tension, medication load, questioning purpose, bedbound with heat pads, stabilising decision, emotional overwhelm, relationship strain, sciatic irritation.
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Raw Poem of Wakefulness
The narrator experiences relentless, burdensome existence each morning, yearning for peace and an escape from life’s monotonous obligations.
